Hello there! It’s been a while, hasn’t it?! I’m not going to apologise, I am a little sad it’s been so long but I’m back and hopefully able to dedicate a bit more time over the next weeks and months to my writing, which excites me.
What happened? Well, life happened. I did really well churning out content in March and I was so happy with all that, but to be honest I’d given up social media and funnily enough had a lot more time on my hands *hangs head in shame* and I was in a proper routine. I went away in April which threw things off kilter and then at the end of the month some big changes happened. I’m not going into details but since then I’ve been metaphorically flailing around not quite sure what to do. I’ve had some pretty big emotions going on with it all too so it’s been hard, I’m not gonna hide that.
I’m not very good at change in my personal life. Professional life, I can be like ‘yeah ok, here’s a new plan, move on’ but for some reason, I don’t carry that across to my personal life all that well. Ah well, everyone has their vices and I can live and learn etc. I already know that I’m a LOT better at change than I used to be. Oh boy, the days of Uni and many an anxiety attack about everything changing around me are not forgotten.
BUT, change is still a’coming and I know that I need to look after myself better than ever to ride it out. Again, I can’t say a huge amount just yet as nothing’s set in stone but I know the next few weeks and months are going to be a little up in the air as it all goes on and takes some time to settle down. I will be ok, I’ll make sure of it, but I am a little apprehensive.
Therefore, because things are moving in a new, different direction (and thank god there actually seems to be a direction, I’m not gonna lie, there wasn’t one for the last 6 weeks or so and I was lost as…) I’ve decided to make this Monday a line in the sand and a reset day.
Today I’m taking time fully for me, without the guilt of ‘not doing enough’ that I’ve had for the past few weeks. I’m going to fully pamper myself, bath, face mask, nails painted, eyebrows tamed etc. to start the process of feeling like I’ve got my shit together and then I’m going to start to actively do the things that make me feel more on top of it and more in control. My water bottle is never going to leave my side and I’m determined to drink 2+ litres a day. I’m going to write to-do lists and actively do things that I was doing before voluntarily with gusto, such as running a website and blog and a couple of Instagram accounts for others.
At the moment, because of the change of direction (I’M SORRY I’M BEING SECRETIVE, IT WILL ALL COME OUT IN TIME, I FEEL LIKE A REALLY ATTENTION-Y, VAGUE, ANGSTY TEEN RIGHT NOW, PLZ FORGIVE ME!) I have some time on my hands to do these that I can dedicate to them, time that doesn’t need to be spent doing other things, so that’s a big plus and a big help.
I’m going to go walking tonight, start eating back on the Slimming World Plan after a few days off and go back to the gym tomorrow. I know I can do all these things, but I sometimes lose the motivation when I’m all out of routine and therefore I need to get back to that.
Mainly, I’m going to give myself a routine again. Eating at proper times, spending my days more productively etc. so I’m calm and ready for when things start to change again in a couple of weeks.
It will be ok, in the long run it will be great and said change is going to be exciting, necessary and for the better but for now, I need to prepare myself to face it and take some time to look after number 1.
I’m really hoping this also means I have more time to write (I should do!) because I miss it; I’m writing when I most need to which is important. As long as I’m still using this as my release when times are tough to sprawl the words out on to the metaphorical page, then my blog is fulfilling it’s purpose but I do want to write more, when I want to and not just when I need to. I’ve still got so much to tell you about Slovenia! And I’ve been ticking off some other places on my 101 in 1001 list and have had lots of other lovely adventure-type things happening too. We have SO much to catch up on, and I’ll arrange that catch-up date really soon.