So, I am now a lot closer to an ADHD diagnosis than I thought I would be by now as there was a way for me to speed up the process. I also appreciate that this may turn out to not be that, although the more I read about it and have seen from others’ experience this week, the more it feels like ‘the shoe fits’, but regardless of what it turns out to be, this week has made me evalute myself a lot more and has forced me to have to try and articulate what I mean about how I feel and how I find things. And it’s made me identify what I find hardest about whatever this is.Read more
Today, for the first time since the end of March, I looked in my Filofax. Usually the small, treasured item that organises my life and it looked at most days, it has been left untouched for the best part of 3 months. There were some things scribbled out in it, from when Covid-19 first started cancelling all our plans, but I had stopped at the middle of June, unsure at the time how long the virus would last. I don’t think any of us were really sure and June let alone September still felt like a long time away, so cancelling things beyond June seemed silly. I wasn’t naive in thinking they were definitely going to be fine, but I also didn’t know so it was worth leaving them for the time being.Read more
I am eternally grateful for all the nice comments people have said in these last 62 days. I am by and large feeling more positive thanks to everyone who has told me I am doing well during this, and I have proved to myself I am a lot stronger than I thought, but I don’t want to be told these things anymore. Because I don’t want to have to continue to live in this strange, cold and disconnected way.Read more
Hello! I say ‘I’ve finally got time to write again’ when we’re already 5 weeks into lockdown, but I guess it’s that I’ve got both time and inspiration again. Lockdown and this bizarre situation has also made me focus in on a couple of things too, which link hand in hand to form this blog post and the basis for new ones too.Read more
So I’ve been thinking a lot about routine and structure recently. Since starting my new job at the beginning of June, I’ve been trying to work in a vague routine. Wake at 7, out the door at 8:30am, back home at 5:30pm and depending on the day of the week, either back out for things in the evening or at home trying to balance between some time spent doing housework and making time for things I enjoy such as blogging, knitting, watching tv etc. Wrap everything up by 9:45pm so I can tidy up for half an hour or so, then I have 45 minutes (ish) to meditate and get ready for bed. This is for weekdays by the way, weekends are a bit more anything goes.
The waking up, going to bed, leaving and returning to the house times tend to be adhered to pretty well but everything else seems to go out of the window half the time. Yet, I know I feel best when I’m in a routine and being equal parts productive and resting. I am fully aware that real life cannot be portioned up into neat little blocks of time, things come out of the blue and plans change, but why, when it’s not due to out of the blue things, do I still seem to let my routine slip, knowing full well this will set me up to fail?Read more